Poetry Pals - Week 44 - Funny Poetry

Oof, this was hard, I’m not funny deliberately.

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Hello my wonderful poetry people,

This week on

Poetry Pals

Nelly challenged us to write funny poetry. People tell me I’m funny, I’m not sure I am, more blunt and to the point, so I’m no Spike Milligan and ‘the bing bang bongs’ are not my forte, but I gave it a go. I don’t think I’ll be submitting it to anywhere anytime soon 😝.

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Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

A Clown’s Nose

I have a schnoz, a conk, a snout,
a large proboscis, an imposing face edifice,
that precedes me everywhere I go
by some great degree, 
announcing my imminent arrival.

Neither ski slope, petite, or demure,
turned up or slim; it shouts it’s imagined
heritage, more Roman or aristocratic,
though there’s little chance of legitimate 
royal blood in this particular family line,
diluted through centuries of peasant tumbles. 

Sensitive to the tiniest of odours 
it has its uses at times sniffing
out burning toast from 100 paces,
or feet long overdue a washing,
my recoil, the wrinkle creasing my bridge
reason enough to cleanse well. 

Sensual though it is not, 
digging into a partners eye whilst 
kissing is not high on the list 
of sexiest moments to aim for;  
a particular, peculiar head tilt required 
for an injury free snog.

My honker with its regal bump
sits squarely central despoiling an 
otherwise pretty fizzog 
dominating my features 
like a oversized vivid tag on a 
sleazy underpass wall.

Emulating the Easter Island statues
it continues ever onward, it’s length
not so  subtly hidden behind vibrant glasses. 
Rounding a corner a while before me,
akin to a first look at a wedding,
inevitably I follow behind. 

I am reluctant to claim kinship
to such a forward personality. 
My quiet demeanour a sulky child 
dragged along with no means of escape.

The butt of many jokes it has
had a following all of its own,
a fan base commenting daily,
I almost got jealous at times, but not. 

But it is a rather fixed on part of me, 
and I am required to acknowledge it, 
this impossible to ignore 
immense super conk of mine.

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Well, I’m sure you are all rolling around on your floors, clutching your aching ribs, after all that gwaffing, your checks aching after all that chuckling and grinning. So …

Till next time, peeps.

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