Poetry Wednesday - If I …

A poem about keeping it together

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Dear poetry readers,

Well, lookey here, I make that three Wednesdays in a row! Go me! This poem was written in response to a call from

Sarah Shotts (they/them)

for art on the theme of Weaving. Now I struggled as usual with taking the prompt far too literally but eventually managed to come up with this, which Sarah selected out of the four I sent to her. So I’m rather pleased. This poem describes how I often feel that somehow I’m disintegrating and have to scramble to hold it all together, especially when I’m feeling extra unwell or overwhelmed.

Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

If I …
.
…pull on this nerve here, and that nerve there, and those ones over there,
straining each and every fibre that binds skin to bone,
relishing the pulsating energy,
the raw throbbing electricity 
skittering along the supple strands.

…collect the almost infinite ends and tie them in a knot, freakishly tight,
pulling them so hard I threaten to shatter anyway,
my outer stretched taut, 
my inner tense,
nerves jangling under tension.

…reside in my flesh when I’d rather expand to fill the universe,
that vast, wide, interminable, universe in which to soar, to fly, 
My atoms stretching their bonds thinly,
vibrating freely, 
filling the infinite space.

…gather inwards, bruising muscles to compress my soul,
the now perfect tightness forcing the world to bounce off me, 
my essence protected, gathered neatly 
behind twitching muscle
and pounding blood.

…steadfastly pull the edges of my ever splintering self inward,
holding tight the fragmenting shards, melding them, uniting.
Maybe if I apply all my effort,
if I try hard enough, 
I will stay whole today,
And not unravel. 

If….				

(First published in

Neurokind

Vol 3 Nov 2024)

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So, that’s all folks, til next time….

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