Poetry Wednesday - Lonely Minds Ablaze
A draft.
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Good day Red Cabbage Heads,
I had a wee mini existential crisis earlier this month. I mean ‘crisis’ is far too strong a word, it was more an irritating nagging itch, something that told my brain I needed to do something different. Something that all the frog leg knitting in the world (and I do have many to make) wasn’t going to scratch. Poetry wasn’t right either. I wanted longer forms. I wanted to explore my writing more but without going over old ground. I have been writing for over 50 years, and even I notice when I write something I’ve basically written about before. And that is fine, rediscovering new ways to write about old themes is what a writer and a poet does. But I was stuck.
I signed up to a couple of ‘courses’? Or prompt givers? Anyhow, I signed up to 2 paid ones though I may not keep one of them. I’m very good at overstretching myself and 2 more alongside the free ones and other paid one I also do may be a tad too much. The good old AuDHD likes to deeply invest even though the commitment is far too much and impossible to achieve. I’m quite impressed I managed to stop at two! I’ve enjoyed the few prompts I’ve done so far. I need to go back over it and see if I can turn them into something.
So today I have for you a poem from
’s Soul Circle. We circled through various prompts and then we chose one line and expanded on it. It is still in its raw form and therefore a draft, but it was very interesting to do. I’ve left it for a few days, and I will come back to it again and rewrite it more.Lonely Minds Ablaze
lonely but loved
with minds ablaze
soul fire burning deeply
creating a newness,
a carefree freshness,
reaching for you
searching, calling,
voices delving deeply
slowing briefly
the terror of loneliness
spiralling as love finally
tethers, grounds. I am impressed by how much my mind has opened again, like a doorway to my mind-library has freed up after a slow rusting. Someone came along with the WD40 and eased those hinges. And I am thankful for that.
I’ve also been doing
’s journal advent prompts.Day 6 was good, ‘everyday the slate is clean and you can fill it with story’ P.Smith - poet.
Write the first line of the story you want to tell
I especially liked this one at this point as I was shattered and needed something short, normally these things say ‘and then expand on it’ like it is the easiest thing in the world. And maybe I’ll come back later and will, but I just needed something simple and affirming after a good few days of a reasonable amount of writing.
So my answer was
When it all came down to it she was all she ever needed to be.
I needed to hear that for myself. I suffer greatly from imposter syndrome and I was beginning to feel I had no worth and wasn’t able to do writing anymore. That I was stuck in a rut and reinventing the same old moans and groans over and again. Even I was bored with myself. And yes, I know it’s trite, and I know it’s been said before. But in that moment, I meant it and believed it of myself. And that is progress for me. I’ve been there before a good few years ago, and I remember the feeling. That’s what I’m aiming to get back.
Do you ever get glimpses of wonder? I once looked at leaves shimmering on a tree and knew and felt every single molecule and saw every pixel of that scene. I can see it still in my head. It was a seminal ‘lightbulb’ moment. (A moment that will forever live in your head like a lightbulb going off or on) The feeling was immense, like a connection to everything. It was wonder at its best. And no, I wasn’t high! Or deluded! Or mad! Or having a religious epiphany, there’s no hope for me on that front, Gaia if anyone was at the fore of my mind. I was just amazingly me.
What works for you? Do you manage to write yourself into wonder? Tell me your lightbulb moments below. I would love to hear them. And on that note,
Ta-ra all. Tx
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‘When it all came down to it she was all she ever needed to be.’ 🧡
"lonely but loved"--that zapped me. The third word makes all the difference to the first word.