Writing Poetry by Hand

Ink pens are fabulous

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Hello people,

I short while ago I decided to write out my poems by hand, with a fountain pen and coloured ink. This is actually a pretty reckless idea. I’m dyslexic and although my handwriting is quite nice my ability to write without making mistakes is not so good. My first practise attempt to see if this was a feasible project ended up with 3 attempts and 3 mistakes. The amount of concentration required was a lot, to say the least. I also am not used to writing by hand. Using a computer has been an amazing tool, spellcheckers, the ability to rewrite and rephrase easily, an online thesaurus etc. I don’t need to worry about getting my words down in a readable form, or getting my ‘b’s and ‘d’s muddled, or whether my pen stutters (I often used to repeat words when writing - an absolute faff at uni as all essays had to be hand written and with no mistakes - I spent longer rewriting pages than I did on any other aspect of the assignment)

So despite my initial failures at writing out a short poem without mistakes I decided to forge ahead. I scoured the internet and found a lovely book. Comes with a bag and a box so it will always be protected.

New notebook

I looked forward to not making too many mistakes and possibly leaving something for my descendants to actually hold. I’ve started right at the beginning, though I do remember when I transferred them out of my scrappy notebooks and onto the hard drive I cut out a lot. I wonder whether they really were that bad? So of the ones that did make it over noted as ‘DO NOT PUBLISH’ in a very melodramatic way are not too bad, some are too awful and won’t make the cut this time. I think if after 35 years I still don’t like them they probably aren’t that good.

I’ve learnt quite a bit along the way. Even after many readings I’m still finding mistakes, and even making occasional tweaks on old poems. I have read and rediscovered poems I’d forgotten and love, and some I’d thought were favourites that have slipped down the list now. I am surprised by how good I find some of them. And conversely, also how bad some were (they are gone now). Some of them I remember the exact moment I was writing about as though it was yesterday. I used to think I mainly wrote short verse, until yesterday when I spent 2 hours writing out not very many poems. Apparently, when you mainly type you don’t really have an understanding of real poem length. And formatting on an iPad is completely different to when writing out by hand. Having written out one centre justified long poem, I won’t be using centre justification ever again! 🤪

My hand writing stamina has improved greatly, and I can now write a good couple of pages easily. I have cut out pages because I made too many mistakes but realised it I did it for every mistake I’d have no book left so embraced some of my dyslexia and left a few in. My handwriting has become more free, a bit more relaxed, less handwriting book perfect, with my dropped zeds, my gees that don’t join and look like spectacles on their side, my ambiguous esses that can’t decide on a consistent form, how when in wrote ‘ing’ I never actually write the i and just dot its absence. My 8s are very flamboyant. Some of my titles I seem to be very fond of using them for more than one poem. Until I decided to add numbers to the top of the pages the page just didn’t feel finished. I started underlining the titles in a non ink pen and had to go back over in proper ink, apparently the look was important too. I will need to add an appendix at the back too, and I want to add notes explaining some of the poems maybe.

I’ve discovered long gaps in my writing, I remember one time I was writing a novel and all my energy went into that (never published), and at others I was subsumed by motherhood and life etc and felt such a huge imposter syndrome that I just couldn’t pick up the pen or pad, there were times I needed validation and had no one to turn to (husband doesn’t like or ‘do’ poetry so no joy there) so felt a complete fraud. But basically, I lost myself. I think I am now found.

EDITED TO ADD: Volume 1 is basically finished now. 149 (actually 150 as one has 2 versions) poem immortalised in my handwriting. Just waiting for the post and the next new journal to arrive.

So do you write out your poems by hand? Either when finished or as drafts? I tend to draft everything on the iPad now, but I do miss writing by hand and seeing all my revisions.

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