Your words resonated so much with me. I am a wee bit older than you and all my life I’ve been overlooked, silenced, treated like a sex plaything and herded into a safe job instead of being encouraged to follow my calling. I’ve never been paid what I am worth in my career yet I’m one of the most practical, capable people I know. Just when I thought things might be changing for the better for women, I see they are slipping inexorably backwards. But let’s keep fighting - we are so worth it.
I’m seething with you about the physics teacher 😡! Shocking but not a shock :( You are so right about the feeling of undoing - decades and decades of hard fought rights being crushed and stolen. And the layers of further trauma when women aren’t believed. Thank you for writing your rage x
Grrr I am both mad for you (the coffee stunt!!) and mad with you as I can totally relate to much of this!! It is horrific that we are no better off decades later and little looks like being done, especially as we see the US taking a turn down a dark alley, we will be sure to follow. I agree also re the energy to fight, more than just write, but it is writing that helps us offload our rage, and we just have to trust that someone with more energy will pick it up and do the hard graft on the ground!!
What made me most mad about that was being disbelieved by my father. He was the one that made me do physics. He was the one invested. And yet when I came to him to complain because I was missing a good part of the lesson and so struggling he stuck up for the man teacher. He blamed me for making up lies to explain my struggles. He always thought I was lying (I abhor lying). I’m also cross because in pretending to be a feminist he made me believe the world was better than it was, and because of that I ended up in some very dodgy situations.
I feel your rant deeply, I've been on the receiving end of this crap for as long as I've breathed (I'm 62 almost 63.) Being in America and hearing the rhetoric and watching the disaster of our government taking away rights and causing chaos is heartbreaking, and the Republicans in Congress seem to be gleeful in this destruction of our democracy! It's shameful! Being a woman has always been a challenge, even with the rights we have gained over the years. There are more times than I can count, my side of the story was not believed, my ideas dismissed and then, appropriated by the "man." I've gone through being passed over, being left out, and being left behind, forgotten, unacknowledged more times than I can count. And to have all Hell break loose when I dared to speak up and cry foul! Especially that time when my former boss (a man 10 years my senior) called me "sexist" at a staff meeting because I asked to have our grad assistant (a young man) to help me with something requiring heavy lifting, and boy did I chew him a "new one" right then and there in front of everybody! Nothing more was said about it, but the grudge was there, I embarrassed him, especially since I had a doctors note regarding my lower back and neck issues at that time, in which I was going to physical therapy 2-3 times a week. It's worse when I tried to find out why I was feeling so sick and in so much pain all the time. Going from one doctor to the next to finally find one to listen to me (a woman, and she's great!) Yet still, the Fibromyalgia diagnosis is never taken seriously, you know because it's "all in my head." It sucks to be in pain without a definitive reason. It sucks to have a neurodiverse brain that no one understands because I seem "normal." Guh! I'm sending you a big hug!!!!
Your experience and your words continue to fuel my fire, and for that I am grateful. That fucking coffee stunt! Grrrrrr!!
The amount of women and folks assigned women who had to deal with this bullshit is reprehensible. I have fought it all my life for my peers and those coming before and after me.
Thank you for speaking up and writing truth to power. Your voice matters and I hear you. May someday we see the fall of the hegemony that controls us all.
I feel I didn’t really do anything other than rant as I ran out of energy. And, like most of us, I have SO many examples. I could have written for pages and pages. But that would have actually been rather boring.
Thank you- as a 77 year old male I too have seen many such examples of this misogynistic bullshit and tried to confront it when I could - please keep on keeping on - Emmett
Your words resonated so much with me. I am a wee bit older than you and all my life I’ve been overlooked, silenced, treated like a sex plaything and herded into a safe job instead of being encouraged to follow my calling. I’ve never been paid what I am worth in my career yet I’m one of the most practical, capable people I know. Just when I thought things might be changing for the better for women, I see they are slipping inexorably backwards. But let’s keep fighting - we are so worth it.
I’m seething with you about the physics teacher 😡! Shocking but not a shock :( You are so right about the feeling of undoing - decades and decades of hard fought rights being crushed and stolen. And the layers of further trauma when women aren’t believed. Thank you for writing your rage x
Grrr I am both mad for you (the coffee stunt!!) and mad with you as I can totally relate to much of this!! It is horrific that we are no better off decades later and little looks like being done, especially as we see the US taking a turn down a dark alley, we will be sure to follow. I agree also re the energy to fight, more than just write, but it is writing that helps us offload our rage, and we just have to trust that someone with more energy will pick it up and do the hard graft on the ground!!
What made me most mad about that was being disbelieved by my father. He was the one that made me do physics. He was the one invested. And yet when I came to him to complain because I was missing a good part of the lesson and so struggling he stuck up for the man teacher. He blamed me for making up lies to explain my struggles. He always thought I was lying (I abhor lying). I’m also cross because in pretending to be a feminist he made me believe the world was better than it was, and because of that I ended up in some very dodgy situations.
You are justified in your anger!
I feel your rant deeply, I've been on the receiving end of this crap for as long as I've breathed (I'm 62 almost 63.) Being in America and hearing the rhetoric and watching the disaster of our government taking away rights and causing chaos is heartbreaking, and the Republicans in Congress seem to be gleeful in this destruction of our democracy! It's shameful! Being a woman has always been a challenge, even with the rights we have gained over the years. There are more times than I can count, my side of the story was not believed, my ideas dismissed and then, appropriated by the "man." I've gone through being passed over, being left out, and being left behind, forgotten, unacknowledged more times than I can count. And to have all Hell break loose when I dared to speak up and cry foul! Especially that time when my former boss (a man 10 years my senior) called me "sexist" at a staff meeting because I asked to have our grad assistant (a young man) to help me with something requiring heavy lifting, and boy did I chew him a "new one" right then and there in front of everybody! Nothing more was said about it, but the grudge was there, I embarrassed him, especially since I had a doctors note regarding my lower back and neck issues at that time, in which I was going to physical therapy 2-3 times a week. It's worse when I tried to find out why I was feeling so sick and in so much pain all the time. Going from one doctor to the next to finally find one to listen to me (a woman, and she's great!) Yet still, the Fibromyalgia diagnosis is never taken seriously, you know because it's "all in my head." It sucks to be in pain without a definitive reason. It sucks to have a neurodiverse brain that no one understands because I seem "normal." Guh! I'm sending you a big hug!!!!
Thank you for the hug. I send you one right back at ya! Our experiences are so similar. There is so much further to go as well
Your experience and your words continue to fuel my fire, and for that I am grateful. That fucking coffee stunt! Grrrrrr!!
The amount of women and folks assigned women who had to deal with this bullshit is reprehensible. I have fought it all my life for my peers and those coming before and after me.
Thank you for speaking up and writing truth to power. Your voice matters and I hear you. May someday we see the fall of the hegemony that controls us all.
I feel I didn’t really do anything other than rant as I ran out of energy. And, like most of us, I have SO many examples. I could have written for pages and pages. But that would have actually been rather boring.
That story about your Physics teacher is jaw-dropping. I'm just shaking my head here.
I did likewise many a time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. It is no wonder I failed my A level!
😵💫😢
Those teachers! Shocking! But believable. Thank you for sharing this, Tamsin. Your words matter.
Thank you Trudi. I needed to hear that today.
Thank you- as a 77 year old male I too have seen many such examples of this misogynistic bullshit and tried to confront it when I could - please keep on keeping on - Emmett