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Broadwaybabyto's avatar

Can I just say I adore you? I love the way you just own your feelings so unapologetically and challenge us to think differently. Also fungi! Love me some fungi!

You and your writing (and especially your knit creatures) bring me joy. Through all my pain and suffering I know if I open your feed I will see something that lights up my day. So thank you. 💜

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Tamsin's avatar

Aw thank you ☺️ what a lovely thing to say, especially in response to one of my rants.

i have been told I don’t have a proper filter on life. So I suppose that’s where it comes from. And yes fungi 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🍄🍄‍🟫

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Elizabeth Barnesco's avatar

I love it! But people are so weird…who presses someone for details of their physical issues?

It amazes me, how much you do get done — your photos of light have touched me, especially.

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Tamsin's avatar

I suppose the people who press are those who don’t really ‘believe’ in ME/CFS, (main stream media has done a lot of harm in that respect) so they want me to prove I’m ill. I am gradually learning to refuse to run through the list.

i don’t really do much honestly at all, light pics are taken around the house as I notice them, my iPad or phone are always nearby, and frogs etc are knitted over many days where as a proper knitter would do them in a couple of hours. Yesterday I sorted the washing, put away the dog food hubby bought, and then spent the rest of the day resting on the sofa and that put me over my energy pace points and made me feel extra awful. I don’t work, I don’t do house work in general. I don’t shop for food (I leave the house about once a week), I don’t feed the pets or walk the dog, I don’t cook, i don’t socialise, I just live a very, very slow life with occasional outings that take days if not weeks to recover from. My posts are mostly written over many days and in advance and posted by being scheduled. It is what it is though and it’s not a bad life. It’s amazing how we can curate what people see and how people see us when you think about it. I’m very lucky my brain still allows me to use technology otherwise I’d be jiggered.

Your words about my light pics are very kind and have made my day. Thank you ☺️

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Elizabeth Barnesco's avatar

Ah, that makes sense — I have multiple allergies, and have received a lot of disbelief or eye rolling about them, over the years. Not the same, but gives me a glimmer of what you must endure. Luckily I have a good med that has made life almost normal since 2010, provided I avoid the worst triggers. Corn is the main food allergy, and since it is not ‘usual’, people like to think I am just being ??? Whatever they think I am being, attention seeking is the usual. I guess this is why, in addition to my neck/shoulder issues and brachioplexus neuralgia, I feel such kinship with ME/CFS sufferers. I can only imagine how hard it is — but do strive not to internalize the judging ie “proper knitter” says Old Auntie Lizzy 😉 What you get done is AMAZING! Quality over Quantity!!!

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Tamsin's avatar

I’ve just sent off a sensitivities test to see if I can make progress. Multiple allergies doesn’t sound nice at all.

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Elizabeth Barnesco's avatar

It is so much easier since finding the med — a low dose of one of the old tricyclic antidepressants — for about 20 years I was increasingly tortured by hives, then everything escalated and I had a reaction to corn chips that put me in hospital with angioedema - I swelled up like a blowfish! Since finding the med after about a year more of extreme torture lol, eating mostly bread and cheese and raw veg, learning my many triggers, I am mostly well managed if I avoid my red light foods. It is now a minor inconvenience and life is good. This is what I hope, on behalf of all ME/CFS sufferers— understanding of your condition, by society and the medical establishment, then a viable treatment!

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Tamsin's avatar

I so pleased you are managing it now. I’d love a viable treatment too.

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Tamsin's avatar

Thank you ☺️ yes I knew ‘proper’ knitter wasn’t right but the old brain wouldn’t give me another word.

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Sam Galloway (she/her) 💕's avatar

This is brilliant, all of this!! My PDA wants journal prompts to do one! 😹

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Tamsin's avatar

I really want to improve my work, but I know I can’t ever sign up for a paid course as I’d just not do it (been down that road before), so I was trying prompts out, it failed. 😞😂😜

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Sam Galloway (she/her) 💕's avatar

Oh bugger, I know what you mean 😭

Do you have Cathy Rentzenbrink’s ‘Write It All Down’? It’s really good, full of prompts - none of them artificially positive. Can dip in and out of it. I would recommend it but I know a fellow PDAer won’t love a recommendation so 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😜 😹

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Tamsin's avatar

I don’t mind a recommendation as long as you don’t ask if I got it. 😂

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Angela Joy's avatar

‘Why not, think and consider your favourite pen and why you like it so much? Or think about why your favourite birds are your favourite birds? Or your favourite instagram person who makes you smile? Why is it always just ‘what are you grateful/thankful for’?’ YES! So much hard fought wisdom in your brilliantly written post Tamsin 🙏 xxx

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Tamsin's avatar

Thank you Angela. Though wisdom may be a stretch too far 😂😂😂😂

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ Fantastic post, Tamsin! Happy new year to you. x

I don't like being told what to think, either - or how to think about it! My journalling 'practice', such as it is, is simply a daily log. It's to-dos, a tiny note about anything that's happened that I want to remember - 'B rang', or 'Courier collected parcel' - and yes, sometimes feelings get in there.

I don't make myself writing things to be grateful for - I can't relate to that practice at all - but given that I write EVERYTHING down I often find myself - very undeliberately - capturing gorgeous moments alongside the everyday ones, and giving them the same acknowledgement as the bad stuff. I'm just stating facts, kind of.

Six snippets from today so far:

Unhang washing.

E-mail P.

Had a lovely reply from LC.

Sat on bench for a bit in the sunshine :)

Feeling nauseous. Not quite headache. Arms protest whenever I try to do anything.

Ordered far too many sprouts!

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Tamsin's avatar

Thank you Rebecca. I love that you find the magical by simply noticing. And hope those sprouts kept!

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

The sprouts - I don't know how I did it, but I ordered two 750g AND two 500g bags of the things! Hadn't realised the former were already in my online trolley when I added the other ones, so I had a bit of a surprise when my groceries arrived this afternoon. At this time of year we do get through 1.5kg sprouts in a week.... but we're going to struggle with 2.5kg! Will probably end up blanching and freezing some of them.

(Oh, and we love sprouts - I cook even extra the night before curry night so I can Bombay them! They beat Bombay potatoes into a cocked hat!)

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Tamsin's avatar

We like sprouts too here. But not sure with even 5 adults we would get through 2.5kg.

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

(We’re a household of two. And shhhhhhhhh……. we’ve already got through some of them!)

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Jane Harrison's avatar

Bloody love this! A bit of freedom from feeling gratitude! We know it’s good for us but when you’re dealing with shit sometimes 🤬. Like the idea of looking for magic, it takes the ‘I’ out of the equation, if that makes sense 🤍

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Tamsin's avatar

Complete sense is made. I agree it’s taking the ‘I’ away, which makes it less intimidating, less pressured.

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Laura J. Wellner's avatar

I loved reading your post, I can relate. (I have loved finding you here.) I avoid writing prompts. They stress me out. I did a few when I belonged to an online writing group over 25 years ago when I was first getting back into writing, but I soon realized that activity was triggering instead of inspiring. (Tho' I did come up with some good poetry, which after much revision, I got rid of the original source of the prompt and happily went my own way.) As a 62 year old neurodiverse woman living with chronic pain for most of my life, I truly don't want someone telling me to "count my blessings" and "be grateful" (I do and I know) and I don't need someone telling me about someone who has it worse than me (I guess that's supposed to make me feel better.) I can still hear my dear mother saying, "Why can't you write something nice?" Oy. Anyway, I do need to shuffle off to finish modifying my wee donkey's backup winter blanket to add a hoodie for her neck, it's been very bitter cold here in Upstate New York USA. Thankfully, the old wee girl is coping with it, as long as she has her blanket, neck cover, and plenty to eat and warm water to drink, she's doing fine. It's always a delight to read you. Be extra good to yourself.

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Tamsin's avatar

You are so very kind. I hope your donkey is well. I think I need to avoid a lot of prompts, there re so many fabulous writers on here and I tend to get caught up.

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Lisa Andradez's avatar

Yes yes and yes again!! I completely agree!! I find it so annoying too, be more specific, ask better questions, not just write a list... I just can't!! I think I'm averse to cheesy, chintsy crap, I honestly do...😂

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Tamsin's avatar

I think it is also a bit of the old PDA at work, made worse by being in a situation whereby some days I’d just rather the world fucked off completely. Yesterday I didn’t hurt so much, today someone is sawing me in half, and yet I’m meant to be grateful. Why? I want to grump. I think I wrote a post about grumping, I may need to revisit it. 😜😁

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Lisa Andradez's avatar

I think we all feel that, well I do at least, as you will see when you read my post later ;)

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Tamsin's avatar

Oo look forward to that.

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Cynthia Hamlett's avatar

This post inspired me to change one line in the daily journal pages I create, regularly edit, and print for myself each week (I find it very difficult to make personal a journal someone else has crafted. I also find it stifling to stick with static prompts when I myself change so frequently!) While I do have much to be grateful for - in fact, so much that it's hard to pin down one thing each day - I, too, find it tiresome to have to reach for gratitude on a daily basis. So, I edited the line "Today I am grateful for..." to "Today I find magic in..." and am tickled to see where this will take me going forward. I love it!Thanks for the inspiration!

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Tamsin's avatar

Wow! So pleased to have been of inspiration, I hope you enjoy the journey finding magic. 🪄✨

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Audhdpainter's avatar

Trying to be more like this to squash the people pleasing and ableist thinking. And only going for authentic! Sometimes things are crap! Being chronically ill is definitely crap. Yes absolutely PDA when it comes to a lot of prompts! ❤️

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Jan 11
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Tamsin's avatar

I thank you for your lovely words. I certainly like to think of myself as many of those things. 😁🧡

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