Oh my goodness, an absolutely hard relate, I hate waiting too, I just can't cope with the stress of it all. Hadn't realised it was an adhd trait, that makes sense as I'm currently self diagnosed with that... And yes, my husband frequently says he thinks I'm collecting letters now, so I hear ya!! 😂
Woah, yep absolutely totally all of this, would do exactly the same if a friend is expected and doesn't show. Waiting is exhausting. Thank you for articulating this so well!! Spot on!
Thanks for sharing. This was so interesting to me as I am exactly the same: chronically on time or early, I hate waiting and it zaps my energy like nobody's business! All my family are very relaxed about timekeeping and so I feel I can't share with them how much it bothers me when they run late (always).
My sister is always at least an hour to an hour and a half late. I cope by adding that time onto her stated arrival time and using that. In 30+ years she’s never been earlier than my added on time.
Ow, wow, and ouch! Currently self-diagnosed ADHD, I was hoping my obsessive tendencies are simply a lifetime's coping strategies, but I admit I am beginning to wonder if I should be collecting more letters after my name too 😂🙄❤️
"Apparently, the inability to do much else whilst waiting for something to happen is a very ADHD trait. The needing to be on time is ASD."
Yes, this is exactly my wife's experience of it. In fact, so much of what you've said here is very much how my wife has described these situations to me. Thank you for sharing your experience, Tamsin.
So much of this rings true to my experience! I used to hate to wait so much that I stopped agreeing to go places with people and instead I would go on my own, that way I didn’t have to wait for them to get ready, or wait for them to want to leave.
That was so freeing.
I remember I started trying to re-imagine waiting as time to myself when I was waiting for friends who were often late. I would bring a notebook, or a book to read, and it became glorious, that time in-between. But I did that because of those feeling that you explained. Waiting was excruciating.
It’s funny, because I am tasked with waiting daily now, because I have a partner with time blindness, who takes about three hours to get ready. They cannot do it quickly. We’ve been together for 8 years, but only 4 of those living together.
And I love them dearly. I have rebranded the time I’m waiting for them as “my time”. But often by the time they are ready, I’m exhausted and have to nap.
Reading your writing made me hyper-aware that this might be related to the collected letters I have as well. I’m autistic with OCD, and RSD and PDA. I’m also chronically ill and deal with exhaustion.
I’m grateful to my brain for wanting to make waiting easier on my system…but I still loathe waiting for someone to arrive at my house. I’d rather be the one actively doing something. I’d rather drive my kids into the city to their father’s house than wait for him to arrive, even if he’s exactly on time. I hate being trapped in my house. That must be related to my control issues.
Thank you for writing this, and for letting me process this here. I appreciate you sharing your experience so I can see where mine matches and where it differs.
How fascinating to find myself not alone in this feeling.
Thank you for reading it! I’m sure PDA doesn’t help either, another set of letters I forgot to add, being held hostage by others lack of awareness of time really triggers that in me. And some fabulous reframing there, I shall have to try that, but then I also don’t want to be interrupted once I’m doing something, even if it is reading.
Oh my goodness, an absolutely hard relate, I hate waiting too, I just can't cope with the stress of it all. Hadn't realised it was an adhd trait, that makes sense as I'm currently self diagnosed with that... And yes, my husband frequently says he thinks I'm collecting letters now, so I hear ya!! 😂
I forgot POTS, and HMS (hyper mobility syndrome) - I’m sure there are more.
I’m sure I missed some letters, but couldn’t be arsed to remember them 😜😂
Woah, yep absolutely totally all of this, would do exactly the same if a friend is expected and doesn't show. Waiting is exhausting. Thank you for articulating this so well!! Spot on!
☺️☺️☺️
I'm sat waiting for someone today so Substack is keeping me distracted!!
Thanks for sharing. This was so interesting to me as I am exactly the same: chronically on time or early, I hate waiting and it zaps my energy like nobody's business! All my family are very relaxed about timekeeping and so I feel I can't share with them how much it bothers me when they run late (always).
My sister is always at least an hour to an hour and a half late. I cope by adding that time onto her stated arrival time and using that. In 30+ years she’s never been earlier than my added on time.
Ow, wow, and ouch! Currently self-diagnosed ADHD, I was hoping my obsessive tendencies are simply a lifetime's coping strategies, but I admit I am beginning to wonder if I should be collecting more letters after my name too 😂🙄❤️
I can relate to all of this, Tamsin - such a great post, thank you. x
Welcome
"Apparently, the inability to do much else whilst waiting for something to happen is a very ADHD trait. The needing to be on time is ASD."
Yes, this is exactly my wife's experience of it. In fact, so much of what you've said here is very much how my wife has described these situations to me. Thank you for sharing your experience, Tamsin.
Welcome
So much of this rings true to my experience! I used to hate to wait so much that I stopped agreeing to go places with people and instead I would go on my own, that way I didn’t have to wait for them to get ready, or wait for them to want to leave.
That was so freeing.
I remember I started trying to re-imagine waiting as time to myself when I was waiting for friends who were often late. I would bring a notebook, or a book to read, and it became glorious, that time in-between. But I did that because of those feeling that you explained. Waiting was excruciating.
It’s funny, because I am tasked with waiting daily now, because I have a partner with time blindness, who takes about three hours to get ready. They cannot do it quickly. We’ve been together for 8 years, but only 4 of those living together.
And I love them dearly. I have rebranded the time I’m waiting for them as “my time”. But often by the time they are ready, I’m exhausted and have to nap.
Reading your writing made me hyper-aware that this might be related to the collected letters I have as well. I’m autistic with OCD, and RSD and PDA. I’m also chronically ill and deal with exhaustion.
I’m grateful to my brain for wanting to make waiting easier on my system…but I still loathe waiting for someone to arrive at my house. I’d rather be the one actively doing something. I’d rather drive my kids into the city to their father’s house than wait for him to arrive, even if he’s exactly on time. I hate being trapped in my house. That must be related to my control issues.
Thank you for writing this, and for letting me process this here. I appreciate you sharing your experience so I can see where mine matches and where it differs.
How fascinating to find myself not alone in this feeling.
Thank you!
Thank you for reading it! I’m sure PDA doesn’t help either, another set of letters I forgot to add, being held hostage by others lack of awareness of time really triggers that in me. And some fabulous reframing there, I shall have to try that, but then I also don’t want to be interrupted once I’m doing something, even if it is reading.
Tamsin, I know you hate it but need to say you are really good at waiting.
Practice makes perfect
All of this 🥰 big virtual hugs 🤗