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Lisa Andradez's avatar

Oh my goodness, I relate to almost every word of this (just replace autism for adhd and I'm there!). I've been ghosted by almost all my friends and family too, nobody bothers with me (save for one friend who does message but I haven't seen in ages and she usually just wants to dump and run). I've felt so lonely and sad by it (hello RSD) and it's also stopped me making new friendships because I dread being dumped and can't trust people either. My therapist tells me it isn't me, but I'm pretty sure I don't believe her!! Thanks for sharing (I'm happy to have you as an online friend and looking forward to meeting up IRL at some point!!)

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

That sounds tough. A friend once said to me - decades ago - that she was cooling things with a person in her life because that person “didn’t understand phones run in both directions”. I’ve also lived long enough to find that sometimes a friendship comes back after an absence, if we are open to that. I’m wondering do you miss those friends for their innate qualities? I ask because I have sometimes been so busy trying to be a ‘good friend’, trying to keep a connection alive, that I didn’t ask myself if I still (or ever) felt safe and seen with that person... when I realised the answer was ‘no’ some of my pain went away (for me). Even in the great silence.

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