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Sarah Shotts's avatar

I feel much the same. I just wish the world didn’t like splitting us up by gender so often. We’re all just people.

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Tamsin's avatar

We are indeed. We are just us. Just humans. If only everyone else could respect all forms of human expression.

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Andrea  Redmond Hind's avatar

Yes Tamsin! I really identify with everything you wrote.

BUT I wonder, is it absolutely necessary to forensically pick apart or examine one’s psyche in order to come up with a label?

Isn’t this just a needless waste of time? Life’s too short as it is.

Like you, I want to be acknowledged and accepted as ME.Not an appendage or a caregiver categorisation. Just Me.Take it or leave it. If it bothers you that much just f*** off and leave me be. (My Mission Statement - not directed at you.)

And another thing - when you reach A Certain Age you’re always called/listed as Mrs. Not me. Ms and proud of it. Oh

Also I hate the term ‘elderly.’ It’s dismissive and diminishing as if we’re incapable of rational thought.

I happily ‘identify’ (if I really have to identify as anything) as an Elder. By virtue of the fact that I’ve been kicking around this planet for more decades than I’m aware of.

And in indigenous cultures being an Elder is being a keeper of wisdom, knowledge and history of the people. Someone with standing and valued. eg African, Native American, Aboriginal and Far Eastern cultures.

We’ve got it so wrong here.

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Tamsin's avatar

I suppose it must be necessary to me at this point otherwise I wouldn’t have done it and certainly wouldn’t have posted online about it. I do tend to use my writing to process, it helps to get it out and down on paper, so to speak, otherwise it just circles in my head all the time. This has been brewing for years now.

Labels can be very useful. Certainly my autism and dyslexia labels are very useful. They aren’t excuses but they do provide clarity and also help to point to help when it is needed. Working this out has been rather useful and quite cathartic for me. There do seem to be many, many labels and that drove me a bit potty, but if others feel they define them then I am not the one to argue with them. I’ll just stick to weird, quirky, eccentric me in the main - explained by being autistic and non binary. But yes basically ME.

I agree with you about the word ‘elderly’ and would much prefer ‘elder’, though ‘old wise one’ will also suffice.

Mainly when asked, I tend to facetiously identify as a tree, like a commercial advert that I saw when younger.

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🍵🍵's avatar

I do not mean to tell you that you are trans ^^; there are people who express similar experiences to you, who do identify with trans as a label, but there are also people who express similar experiences to you that don't identify with or use it. I wanted you to know the option was there, but I apologise if I was forcing the label upon you, that was never my intention 💜

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Tamsin's avatar

This was not what you did, no need to apologise.

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🍵🍵's avatar

💜

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Janey Thompson's avatar

Oh, yes...I could almost have written this!

You are not alone 🙃

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Tamsin's avatar

Phew, thank you. I am pleased to have company.

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Janey Thompson's avatar

Here I am, living the simple life by the sea, with my beautiful dog and my partner of forty-something years. The best man in the world. And yet...

I too am long past wanting/needing society's labels. I am WAY more than mother/wife/woman/girl

'Just checking my give-a-shit-ometer...nope, still nothing...'

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Tamsin's avatar

Yes! The ‘and yet’!

Aside: I’ve always longed to live by the sea. I have views, but the sea is just something else.

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Janey Thompson's avatar

I waited 60 years to be able to say 'from my attic window you can see the sea...' 😊

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Jun 3, 2024
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Tamsin's avatar

I am very happy to chat. I’ll ping you a DM.

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